SHE REALLY HATED US

I found this on my old babysitters myspace blog! OH MY GOD!!!!!!! She really hated us! I want to know why!!!!!! Can anyone extract any hidden meaning in these words? Besides the fact that she is F***ING FREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"What I was trying to blog last week was that I had my last day of work with one of the families. The last day was with the Starr Family. Thank God it was not with the Loftis Family. If it was with the Loftis', I would be horribly upset right now. Anyway, so back to the Starr Family. It feels really good to not work for them anymore. I feel at peace. I also have freedom. I started working with the Starr's back in January. A couple of months went by, and I was getting a sense that I was not supposed to be working for this family anymore. I worked for a good family, but there was just something deep down in me that kept telling me that this was not the place for me. Anyway, so the door opened for me to have my last day of work with this family as of last Thursday. There were numerous reasons why this door opened. For instance, there are 3 straight weeks that I would not be babysitting for this family. Also, the schedule with the Loftis' will be changing in August which would affect the family. Of course, with all of this change comes the gap and starting back over in square one. Yep, here I am once again on the same path/cycle of looking for a part-time job that will meet the needs of the schedule, the income, etc. Of course, it sets me back with some goals. Okay, my random thought right now is that this is not setting me back. I am moving forward. Through God's Help, God is moving me forward. Wow! It feels really good to hear that God is moving me forward. I trust God for what He is going to do with me and in me.

Also, lately, I have been on a journey of self-discovery. The self-discovery of my heart. Also, it has been a self-discovery of The Truth vs. The Lies. The Good vs. The Evil. I have been able to distquinsh lately the lies that attack me or others vs. truth. The Enemy wants to steal, kill, and destroy. God wants to give us life. I am learning and processing so many things right now. It is a bit overwhelming, but it is so good for me. Also, I can relate so well with the picture of the Yo-Yo that was described on Sunday.

I also had something in my blog about relationships. I am not able to expand on this topic right now because my mind and heart is still processing the thoughts. What I can tell you is that they have been hard. At all levels, relationships have been very difficult. I know that relationships are important to me. I know I am wanting a balance. I know I am wanting support. I know I am wanting life to flow from relationships. All I know is that I feel as if I haven't been getting a healthy balance in any of the previous areas I mentioned. The word respect entered the mind. Well, one day I will expand on this topic. In the meantime, Blessings to All and Much Love."

Radiohead

Ok, most of you know that my wonderful, adoring husband decided last minute to get us tickets on Ebay to the Radiohead concert in Berkeley during our vacation in California. Let me start by saying that in theory this was awesome. The band is practically extinct and were only playing 6 shows in the United States. Radiohead is sooo our band. I heard them for the first time before I met Wade in Dallas in 1992 while slightly inebriated with friends from college. I didn't know them at the time and the show was actually free and being the cool under 21 year old girls that we were, when our fake i.d.'s worked, we were pumped. When I met Wade and he played them for me, I slightly remembered this show and said, "I think I like these guys." Wade thought the same and then they came out with hit after hit album. We LOVED them and saw them any chance we got, which wasn't a lot, since even then they didn't play that much live. Thom Yorke is weird. He always has been, touting strange verbage and then there's the eye. If you don't know what I mean, please google his name and look at his face. Kinda weird. Anyway, we were both excited for this show knowing that this would probably be the last time we would ever see them again. It was kind like closing a chapter in our lives. The show was at the Greek theater on the campus of U of Berkeley. The venue was very cool: outdoor, colliseum look-a-like (of course you couldn't smoke, another reason to loathe California), but cool nonetheless. They played 25 songs and I knew 4. Two from the bends and two from OK computer. The four songs I did know were soo not good. You could tell that he really didn't want to sing them and was just doing them out of obligation for idiots like me who like the old stuff. All the rest were new and his new is techno! or techno his way. It was very strange.
I am NOT complaining. Even though I didn't know many songs, it was still really fun hanging out with the hubs shopping and eating (that's really what we do best!) And we didn't get lost one time (our most often reason for out of town fighting). So I certainly wouldn't have not gone. Plus, I got to see a lot of peculiar people doing mushrooms AND I kinda hung out near the complimentary medic area. Oh yea, I saw some groovy shit. Those Californians like their psychedelics!

legoland

This was our one and only "outing" for the kiddos last week. It's sort of a strange playpark having very little to do with legos except that practically everything in there is made of legos. For some reason I thought it would have something to do with playing with legos. I was wrong. It's kind of weak for an amusement park but better than, say, Frontier City. The cost of entry is the most I have ever paid, EVER! Get ready for this peeps, $53 for adults and ten dollars less for chitlins. I crap you not. Grace rode 3 roller coaster (that's all there were) and the water portion was shut down because of some snafu. Other than that there were a few play areas for the smaller kids. Moral of story: not worth the $$$. That being said, we still had a blast hanging with Mere and her kids and Sydney loved it. All the kids and noise, right up her alley. We had big plans for the San Diego Zoo and possibly Seaworld but we changed our minds after we were stuck in traffic for over an hour and Sydney SCREAMED the entire way back to the hotel. It was bad timing on our part as it was dinnertime for the chunky monkey. We also took a wrong turn which extended the impromptu road trip and Wade and I seriously considered driving off the cliff straight into the ocean. No, really, we thought we were going to kill each other. So, from that point on we decided we would just hang close to the hotel area and swim/play there. We saw no reason to venture that far again and I feel confident that we made the right choice. So on to some pics:
this first one is Grace in front of one of a thousand lego built characters.


the next pic is the good girl taking a nap at legoland, she actually slept for about an hour

And finally, back to the 2nd home, the hotel pool. Notice the droplets of water on her face...so sweet.

I had a couple more photos to show but blogger decided to be a pain in my ass! One of them was Sydney trying to get out of the carseat- it's really funny! Hopefully things will be better tomorrow for dear 'ole blogger.

Back in the big O-K-C

yea! We are home from vacation! Now I need a vacation from the vacation. Just kidding. We had a blast! The mvp of the trip was....GRACE! She was truly amazing. All the child wanted to do was swim at the hotel pool. It was two steps from our room and there were tons of kiddos about her age. She probably logged in an average of 4 hours a day of swimming. And the parentals only had to be swimming about 1/4 of that average. very relaxing!


Now Syd on the other hand took a couple of days to get herself situated into the whole Southern Cal thang. Believe it or not, the sleep concerns I was having were completely moot. She was a total trooper considering the fact that there were about 400 screaming kids playing in the pool right outside her door. It didn't even phase her. Yea for sleep training!


So I have to say probably the best part of the trip was seeing my friend Meredith. Wade kept saying, "you all are so domesticated now" because he knew us way back when, you know when we couldn't get out of bed because of the mad hangovers. Her kids are darling and I already miss "Sheshy" saying, "uh-oh baby" after hitting said baby to make her cry in order to say "uh-oh baby". Get it. It was freakin' hilarious. I woke up today thinking I needed to call her to make plans for afternoon swimming. sigh. C'mon, Mere, move home, the hens would embrace you with open arms (right girls!!!) Anyway, I know that would never happen because for some reason she likes to pay Westminster tuition for her housepayment and she likes her satan worshipping babysitter:)

Anyway, I have a ton of pics, but I really don't want to bore you with them. At least not all at the same time. So I'll just post a few and then do a few more tomorrow etc.etc. Cool?

This first pic is in the airport and we were lucky enough to be sitting right next to a magician (the gods were definitely looking down on me) and this kind man made these amazing balloon concotions for Grace.

This next is Syd on her first beach tumble...doesn't she look excited... toes pointed and all...
and let us not forget Sydney in her own seat on the way to San Diego. She actually looks like she is being a good girl, but, oh no she is not. Not too fond of the 'ole airplane. And fitting I thought was her shirt, "unforgettable." and trust me, the other passengers wilst not forget. Thank God I brought along a baby einstein video as it was the only thing that would SHUT HER UP.
more to come tomorrow...
p.s. happy birthday, Jamie!

me+hubs+2kids+2 airplanes=very low expectations

Yes, it's true. We are going on our annual vacation this Tuesday. We are going to San Diego to visit my bestest friend and enjoy the amazing weather and unbelievable sites. While I know we are going to have fun I also know that getting there is such a pain in the ass. Not to mention the 2 hour time difference that puts Sydney waking up in the morning at 5am. wow. And she doesn't watch t.v. yet. double wow. We never took any far away vacations when Grace was a baby so I have very low expectations for this one. Anyone have any ideas? She'll be ready for her morning nap before the sun rises. Sheesh! Someone pray for me.

So, with that being said, I will not be posting this week. I am sure everyone is bawling right now thinking about that one. Sorry. But you know I'll have some interesting fodder for the next post. Y'all take care now, ya here.

On a small side note, tomorrow would have been my mom's 64th birthday, so we decided to celebrate that by going to Woodward! Probably her least favorite place in the whole world. My grandad (dad's dad) and uncle live there and we are going to have a gay 'ole time. Yippee for me!

where, oh where did my little life go...

This parenthood thing is crazy. Today I was thinking about old times with the hubs, you know, before we were married, our wedding month, honeymoon etc. It's amazing what different people we are today. I could talk endlessly about this, but really, do you even remember how easy life was before kids. No, this is not a rant about how I wish I hadn't had kids, it's just a simple memory game. My biggest daily concern back then was what I was going to have for dinner (which is still one of my biggest daily concerns, but for very different reasons) and what I was going to do (or not do) on the weekend. Now, maybe my memory is all skewed, but, what in the hell did I do all those years? I remember that I worked full time, but that was a piece of freakin' cake compared to this (except for the dead man I had to see, don't ask, it's really too weird). There were no early mornings, no lunches to make, no cartoons, no naps, no playdates, no activities, no games to play, no barbies, no dress up, no pretending, no 5:00 o'clock meltdowns, no bedtime battles, no nothing! What the hell did I do? Please, y'all help me remember!! And why didn't somebody SHAKE ME and tell me how easy my life was. I remember people who had kids that I worked with and not once did they shake me. Not once did they look at me and say, "what the hell do you do all weekend?" Not once did they say, "Pssst...no matter what anyone says, it's really kinda hard and half the time really shitty." Not once did they say, " can I trade places with you?"
Now that I'm thinking this through (sorry you have to be with me for that) I really wouldn't want to trade places with the young punks I know either. I mean really. The lack of purpose and utter non-responsibility is almost a bore.

Well, maybe just for one teeny tiny day.

how we stay entertained on monotonous days

This was just a total fluke. Wade purchased an antique typewriter that has been the biggest hit with both girls. Safe to say the thing won't see next week, but WHO CARES it got us through this one.

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5 things I love about my baby

5. When I am getting her ready for bed, she "helps" me put the lotion on her by using her hands to rub it into her chest. So cute.

4. The minute I put her in the bath she shivers. Everytime.

3. When I'm cleaning off her face and hands in the highchair she proceeds to stuff any little morsel left on the tray like it is her last meal. Again, everytime.

2. If Grace happens to cry, she laughs.

1. She crawls over to the dog toy, pushes it to make it quack, and when she's got peanut's attention, throws it for her.

I was going to do something like this around her birthday, but I was so worried that she would stop doing one of these things and then I would forget it. I'll be doing one for Grace soon.

C'mon ladies, it's your turn. Let's hear your fave things about 'em.

David's "We Hate Children" Bridal

I really think they should rename the store to this.

One of my best friends from grade school is getting married this summer and my beautiful, adorable daughter is the flower girl. Tell me this is not exciting for a 5 year old. She talks about it endlessly and practices her walk at least once a day (she really needs to work on it twice a day, no really, she walks soooo slowly and with her head looking up...no idea why). Anyway, we have been planning this little trip to David's bridal with my friend for about 3 months. The day arrived and off we went. We walked into the store all giddy with excitement and not one person even looks in our direction. There were plenty of workers milling around, but not one came up to us. So we finally found our way to the little dresses and pick out a few to try on. This was really the whole reason for the trip. Oh the anticipation. Grace was on her way to one of the dressing rooms and I ASK the lady, "can she try these on?" Like, hello, a little help here. The lady says, "sure, but she cannot get on the platform area." What? That's the whole purpose: get the dress on, get on the little platform, twirl around etc.,etc. My friend says, "it's gonna be pretty hard to keep her off that!" The lady in an unpleasant voice: "Mmmm, sorry, those are reserved for our brides." You mean all 2 of them in there! You mean all those overweight, horsey faced "brides". Sorry, I know I'm rude, but PULEEZE!!!!!!! She's 5!! So Grace proceeds to try the dresses on and look at herself in the wall mirror by the storage room and the the lady walks by and says in a surly, sarcastic voice, "Oh aren't you soooo pretty." I am not even kidding. They should put a sign on the front door that says:

"We kill little girls dreams."

And no, we did not buy the dress. I wouldn't give them one of my red cents!

I hate church

Because it reminds me too much of my mom.

No, really, I love my church. Sure, it may be a little on the conservative side, but the people there are truly amazing. Our pastor, Father Bright is one bitchin' dude. He has 5 boys age 8-22. I think he may have Jamie beat. Imagine 5 Max's running around the house and now teenagers! You gotta love that guy. Anyway, it's just sooo depressing to go to church. I used to look forward to it. Kids in sunday school and mom and I hanging out talking and writing notes during church. It was kind of ridiculous. We talked on the phone/saw each other all the time, but somehow we still had so much to talk about at church of all places. I remember people sort of shooting us looks and me always telling my mom "shhhhh" because she couldn't hear all that well and so her whispers were like my normal voice. Now all the prayers and hymns just remind me of mom. I've been going to that church since my birth ( I took many years off when I wasn't living here, obviously) so it's no wonder that it reminds me of her.

And another thing. The strangest thing keeps happening to me. I keep almost calling her. I don't actually pick the phone up, but in my head I say, "gotta call mom and tell her _______" It's really bothering me! Why do I keep doing that? I started volunteering at the Remarkable Shop again on Thursday and right when I got in my car I had the overwhelming feeling to call her because I always called her once I got in my car. Weird? Annoying? Yes to both.

I'm trying to stay positive and find the good in situations so I've come up with one: the people at church are able to hear the sermon better now! Ah, who cares about them anyway!

no time for nothin'

OH MY GOD! I officially have no time. I knew when school was out that I would have less time to do things just for me like blogging, but, WOW, I have like no time whatsoever. Sydney takes 2 pretty good naps a day and I can usually let Grace watch t.v. during that time and then I have some time on the computer. But lately Grace will watch like 10 minutes of t.v. and then TURN IT OFF!! Now, for those of you that know Grace, know that she is a huge lover of the boob tube. I pretty much have to limit t.v. to the above said times. She can usually stare at it without flinching for a good 30 minutes. You can say her name, yell at her, dance in front of her etc. without even a blink of the eye. So why now? I haven't a clue but it's really pissing me off. I can't tell her she has to because that would be so wrong. I have been saying, "really, are you sure? That show just started and you love it!" It's not working. She replies, "no thanks." And during the 10 minutes of t.v. she is constantly needing something: snack, juice, look at the huge booger in her nose etc. PULEEZE! So you're probably thinking that I should just let her play quietly by herself. I do! But it's not quietly and it's not by herself. "mommy look at this," "mommy feel this," "mommy I need a bandaid," etc.etc.etc. Try writing a new post while hearing that. Hell, I can't even read an email. She's killing me ever so slowly.

Memorial weekend was pretty fun except that Sydney offically hates to swim. Our summer doesn't bode well with that attitude! This is a pic of syd after the near fatal scrape to the nose. BOO HOO!