Under the Knife...

For all you out-of-towners, Sydney will finally be getting that gargantuan thing of her left cheek! We took her to the Dermatologist and he said it was a Spitznuvess...that's just an ugly name for a juvenile benign melanoma. Of course the thing can't just be frozen off, Sydney has to get all high falutant on us and have the operation performed on her by a plastic surgeon (wow, she's starting early!). So our adorable little one has to be put under anesthesia and have the damn thing surgically removed. And, yes, it HAS to be removed because of the rapid growth of the little bugger the chances are good that it could turn malignant. Waaa...sniffling...I'm sure I'll be a wreck on Monday. The doctor assures us that they will take the utmost care of her and the entire thing will only take 30 minutes. She'll have 4 stitches that I have to guard with my life or she'll have to have her arms taped down so she doesn't mess with it and increase the chances of an ugly scar...I swear I will check myself into a mental hospital if that has to happen. Can you imagine how PISSED she will be? Wow. The stitches will come out 4 days later and she will have a permanent scar. He said that by the time she is a teenager it will barely be visible based on the placement (it's in that little curvy part next to the nose). Sad. I know. So everybody, and I mean everybody, needs to be thinking about the little toot on Nov. 6 at 7:45am. Kay?
Here is the last look of the spitznuvess :

On a lighter note, we went to her 15 month check-up today and all systems are a go. She is 22 lbs. (yes, that's it) and 29 inches. 50 percentile for both. I swear she looks so much chubbier than that. Anyway, she was way in the mood to impress and was showing Dr. Julie her entire repertoire of animals, singing and such. Dr. Julie looked at her standing and said that she's fine, just choosing not to walk. So, there's that. No need to worry.

Happy Halloween people!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Captured: One Very Drunk, Bald Hispanic Man

So everyone knows what a freak I am about daylight savings. Kids went to bed late in hopes that they would sleep late. So, thanks to my annoying cold, I started coughing around 5:15 (really 6:15 to me). Sadly, it wakes Wade up who then realizes that he is starving and heads downstairs for a little snack. Not 5 minutes later he is back upstairs turning on all the lights,
"There's somebody in our backyard and he's trying to break in!"
"Well, call the cops!"
"I am!" (he then proceeds to get his gun from the top shelf of the closet)

Panic ensues as he calls 911 and is telling the dispatcher the details. We are both sitting on the stairs at this point when we hear the crazy bastard trying to OPEN OUR SIDE DOOR! which is locked, no thanks to me. Wade: "You guys better hurry he's trying to get in and I've got a gun." Me: "Wade, go put the gun up, we're not shooting anybody!" At which point the man takes off (I'm assuming here because we heard the patio door slam REAL LOUD).

A few minutes later the cops show up (you all know this is my favorite part) and I then spy on them from the upstairs bathroom window. They've got guns drawn and are all over our backyard, backhouse and side porch. Once it was established that the guy was indeed gone, he knocks on the front door REAL LOUD. Thankfully Wade put the gun up and we then go outside and Wade begins telling him that he actually saw the guy (which I didn't know at this time) and said he was a light-skinned black or hispanic guy, bald with a coat on. I have to say I was pretty impressed seeing that all this happened so fast and is was very dark still. So the cop said, "do you think you could identify him because we have someone in custody." Wade, of course said that he could and here comes another cop car with the guy inside. I then turned to Wade and said, "now really look at him and don't just say yes." So, the guy gets out of the car and it was almost comical because he was a bald (well, almost, he has like a very short haircut), hispanic and a blue coat on. Wade goes, "well, I'm not sure now, thanks Ginny" Oops. I kinda psyched him out by telling him to be sure.

ok. So it's about 6am at this point and I head back upstairs. It turns out that Wade had called our security guys before 911 who zoomed over here before the cops had shown up and actually saw the guy walking down our driveway, croutch between the neighbors car and then begin walking down the street. The security guy says, "can I help you?" to which the guy ignores and keeps walking (or staggering based on his level of drunkeness). The security guy decided to follow him because he looked suspicious and then flagged the cop down.

Bingo, bango. Perp in custody.

Why he was trying to come into our house is beyond me...maybe the couch looked cozy:)

Now, onto the most amazing part about this whole story...both kids slept til 7. Whoda thunk it!

Grace-isms Part I

I know I have been writing a lot about the ever-changing, always-darling Sydney. Today I thought I would hit ya with some funny Grace-isms that she's let out lately.

1. After getting some dessert from Deep Fork with her friend Anna she says, "Triple Score!!!!!!!!!!!"
2. She asked me if (her uncle) Matt was a teenager. I said yes to which she replied, "why is he so nice then?" Good point.
3. When something potentially bad happens she lets out, "SNAP!" Really don't know where she got that one because the only person I know that says that on a regular basis is Ashli's husband, Chris.
4.She says "Garvage" for "Garbage" and "velt" for "belt".
5. When I told her Sydney would be getting her "mole" removed she asked, "will it come right back when she looks at daddy dad?" (my dad has a mole in the same spot as Sydney)
6. She brought up the fact that she wants a brother (ha!ha!)to which I replied, "Oh I really don't want to do that again, Grace." She then reminded me, "yea, that would mean your stomach would have to get all filled up with air again and you would be HUGE like last time!!"
7. And the #1 funniest thing she has said to date. We were talking to our nanny, Raye, the other day and she asked if she could move in with us. Raye said, "But Grace, where would I sleep?" to which Grace replied, " I know, you could sleep on top of my daddy!" I shit you not, she said that. Raye and I looked at each other and started rolling. To which Grace got angry and huffed off for laughing at her. Some laughs I can stifle, but that was not one of them!

There are plenty more that I'll post at a later date!

Goodbye USPO...forever!!

Why is it everytime I go to the post office there is a line a freakin' mile long? I swear to the heavens. I went in there to put some stamps on my envelopes to mail to the IRS and I stood in line for 15 minutes. in the same spot. without moving. I finally had to leave after making not one tiny step forward.

It's like the postal workers don't even notice that there are 25 people in line, 5 of them ladies over the age of 90. They just continue to talk to each other like they're on their lunch break. One woman had the nerve to actually go in the back and put the packages in the correct spot. Now, I'm all for putting the shit in the right spot, but, for God's sake, just put it on that little ledge behind you until the line dies down. And then there was the guy who hogged one postal worker for the entire 15 minutes that I was there. Oh, boy, they were having a gay old time just chatting about how much this versus that would cost and while you're at it, how much would this be? It was ridiculous.

And it happens EVERY time I step foot in there. I just slapped a whole bunch of stamps on the damn envelopes and flew to pick Grace up at school. I'm officially done!!!!!!!!!

Please humor me

I know, it seems that I only post things about Sydney on this blog. But really, she's the one going through all the damn changes and doing the super-cute-baby-things. Everyone that knows me, knows that I also talk about Grace (although lately she has been more of a thorn in my side!). Next post will definitely be dedicated to her. But, for now, here is that little crazy girl doing what she does best!

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Baby Got Back

Look at that bootie! Why is it that my children have such full figured bottoms. I mean mine isn't petite by any stretch of the imagination, but my God, those kids have got some junk in the trunk!

to all my peeps

Dear Internet friends!
This is Sydney here, and I just wanted to let everyone know that they can just stop worrying about me RIGHT NOW! I here you people talking about me (right in front of me no less!) And I just want to set the record straight: I'm a lazy ass! and simply am not walking because...I don't want to! I can crawl faster than I can walk and, frankly, think it's kinda funny to worry my mom. I stand up, she asks me to walk to her and I simply sit down. Now that's comedy. I'm leaving you with this little video of me taken by my mommy (God, her voice is annoying!) just to prove to you all that I can put weight (heavy as it is) on my cankles/feet. Enjoy!


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Love,



AKA the wimpy warrior AKA the crusher AKA the biatch