Home Sweet Home

You really never realize how much you take advantage of everyday conveniences, like, electricity, cable and heat. Sure, these are things that you don't get free, but, they are also things that you would never be without. Brief interlude for a little pic of the cutest snow bunny. And yes, she may be wearing the same socks that she wore Monday. Packing on the fly is hard!!








Our electricity came back on at 6 pm Wednesday night, and I was ecstatic!!!!!!!!!! We decided tostay in the hotel room one more night, because we had already paid for it and because our house was 49 degrees. Brrrrrr.... But we are definitely one of the lucky ones, so no complaining. Now we have to deal with insurance companies, which should be fun. NOT!! Here's how excited Rudolph is about talking to the insurance company AND delivering gifts:


The kids were also really excited to be back in their own beds, both marked by very little bickering our first day back. And I'll have you know I was so excited to be back that I actually did 4!! loads of laundry (Myself, people...which also included folding AND putting away), made chili in the crock pot and made blond brownies. Who's happy to have electric??!?!??









Me!! That's who! And Curly marked his excitement to be back by darting out the front door (for the billionth time in 2007), but Wade actually caught him with his bare hands, which is no small feat. Curly is a fast mo-fo. I just had to put this pic up because both Wade and Curly look cute after the above mentioned capture!



So, all is right in the Starr house. And thankfully it did not snow a bizillion inches like they thought! God owes OK some apologies here!

I'm old

Tuesday night was Wade's brother's graduation from McGuinness High School. Oh, you know I was reminiscing like crazy. I can remember my graduation in that very auditorium 15 years ago. How can this be? The school looks completely different and amazing on the interior after the remodel. During the ceremony the principal was giving his speech (he was the track coach when I was there!) and he was talking about the students and broke down which kids came from where. 1/4 of them were from various Catholic schools and only 9 of the kids were from Westminster. 9!! Where the hell did all the kids from there go? I mean, I know where they probably went, but I still find this perplexing. At least half, if not more, went to McGuinness when I was at Westminster. Anyway, I will know stop thinking about my kids being of High School age and get back to the mundane life of toddler-dome.
This is what Matt looked like when Wade and I started dating:







And this is what he looked like when Grace was born (yes, that is Grace looking like a little troll).

So, try as I might, I can't really ignore the fact that High School is really not that far in the distant future!!! Awww!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday to me!

I am really not one to get all into the birthday cheer, but thanks to my 5 year old (and my 36 year old) there's no getting around it. Grace reminded me at least 6 days prior to the big day that "3 more days..." etc. All that to say, my darling hubby has far exceeded expectations again. We've got the big trip to Vegas this weekend (sooooooo excited I can barely stand it!!!!!!!!!!) but also an ungodly amount of gifts. He thrives on this and now he's got the little one in on it too. I can already see that he is making Grace into the gift giving fool that he is. She made me a total of 12 drawings and helped him pick everything out. Yesterday (my actual birthday) right before her ballet performance she was "sharing" with the group. Mind you she stated this in front of the entire group of parents, "Grace what would you like to share today?" "Today is my mom's birthday and I picked her out a lacy bra and panties for her!" THANKS!! However, the point not to be lost is that I really do need these things and Grace knew that, hence, she picked them out all by herself. The whole gift was entirely her idea. And this is where I get happy. My husband has this uncanny ability to pick out gifts for people that they will love and need. He seems to be passing this ability on to Grace. So proud! because if you think about this, that ability is pretty rare. I know it is impossible for me; I'll think about what to get someone (including my husband) for hours!!! And then Wade will think of something and it will be PERFECT AND WHY DIDN"T I THINK OF THAT!!
Anywho, the birthday celebration was fabulous if not slightly bittersweet. It was the first time in 33 years that my mom didn't tell me "happy birthday" and, you know, that was tough. I better just get used to it, cause we've got Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up. Whew. Where is that hole I can crawl into.

Thank you Wade!and Grace! for always knowing just what I need. XOXOX

Life Changing

I ran across this poem/story on another blog that I randomly read. Often times I think about how much my life has changed since having children, but it's always more than I can explain. This is the first thing I've read about motherhood where I actually thought, "YES OH MY GOD YES THIS IS WHAT I"M TALKING ABOUT!!!!!!!!" Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of starting a family.
"You think I should have a baby?"
"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.
"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations..."

But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. Want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so profound that she will forever be vulnerable. I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a mama bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation. I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. Right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom. However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it all up in moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years - not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish hers.

I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby's bottom or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving in defense of children. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children's future. I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes.
"You'll never regret it," I finally say.
Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings. This blessed gift ... that of being a Mother.

this hurts me and heals me all at the same time...

this was the exchange over breakfast:

Grace: does everyone have a mom?
me: everybody in the whole world.
Grace: but you don't have a mom.
me: that's true...but I used to have a mom. Remember?
(chomp, chomp, pause...)
Grace: do you miss your mom?
me: every single day.
(chomp, chomp)
Grace: cici still loves you though even though she's not really your mom anymore.
me: thanks Grace.
Grace: and I miss her too.

where, oh where did my little life go...

This parenthood thing is crazy. Today I was thinking about old times with the hubs, you know, before we were married, our wedding month, honeymoon etc. It's amazing what different people we are today. I could talk endlessly about this, but really, do you even remember how easy life was before kids. No, this is not a rant about how I wish I hadn't had kids, it's just a simple memory game. My biggest daily concern back then was what I was going to have for dinner (which is still one of my biggest daily concerns, but for very different reasons) and what I was going to do (or not do) on the weekend. Now, maybe my memory is all skewed, but, what in the hell did I do all those years? I remember that I worked full time, but that was a piece of freakin' cake compared to this (except for the dead man I had to see, don't ask, it's really too weird). There were no early mornings, no lunches to make, no cartoons, no naps, no playdates, no activities, no games to play, no barbies, no dress up, no pretending, no 5:00 o'clock meltdowns, no bedtime battles, no nothing! What the hell did I do? Please, y'all help me remember!! And why didn't somebody SHAKE ME and tell me how easy my life was. I remember people who had kids that I worked with and not once did they shake me. Not once did they look at me and say, "what the hell do you do all weekend?" Not once did they say, "Pssst...no matter what anyone says, it's really kinda hard and half the time really shitty." Not once did they say, " can I trade places with you?"
Now that I'm thinking this through (sorry you have to be with me for that) I really wouldn't want to trade places with the young punks I know either. I mean really. The lack of purpose and utter non-responsibility is almost a bore.

Well, maybe just for one teeny tiny day.