1 down...99 to go (we hope)!

The birthday girl with her uncle Bubby!







Well folks, the first birthday party for little miss Sydney when down without a hitch (save my piercing headache). It was much like Grace's first with all the people, but this time there were MANY more children, which Syd loves. We had a magician for the older kids who also specializes in the most amazing balloon creations. So fun! And I think the kids really liked it as well. The poor man had to take on at least 10 kids at any given time, shouting and squealing for balloons. Grace had a blast and was sooo proud of her baby sister. I have to say the actual singing of the birthday was sooo amazing this time around. She loved the singing (and chanting by the other children to "eat your cake, eat your cake") and actually ate her cake and LOVED it (of course). And get this: she still took her nap! Yea!
Here is a pic of one proud mama holding the darling little cake that I made for her (the icing was homemade with lots of butter, cream cheese and powdered sugar!)

Video Hosting - Upload Video - Photo Sharing

Here she is impatiently waiting for the cake!









And this is when I first set the cake down. She was a little unsure...



And now we're getting somewhere...mmmmmm













Mommy loves you, Sydney!

Ecstatic

Finally, finally, finally...a jury got it right. Yes, I'm referring to the Andrea Yates trial. This woman is the classic example of 'not guilty by reason of insanity' She was so sick for YEARS, in and out of mental hospitals, multiple suicide attempts etc., if she would have gone to prison it would be nothing more than a true miscarriage of justice. I'm sure some of you bloggers will disagree with me on this one, but trust me, the people who should be blamed for this are her own husband and the idiotic psychiatrist who TOOK HER OFF HER PSYCHIATRIC MEDICATION before the murders. Here are some fun facts and interesting tidbits:

• at one point during their marriage Rusty Yates came home to find that his wife had systematically pulled out all of her fingernails...hmmm, his solution was to move them out of the van they were sharing with 4 children and into a house. Ok, that should do it.
  
• "The couple and their four sons moved from the bus into their house on Beachcomber Lane in a Houston suburb. She recovered while using Haldol, but eventually stopped taking the medication. Against the advice of her psychiatrist, Andrea soon became pregnant again with their fifth child, Mary. Within months, following the death of her ailing father, her psychosis returned. Instead of taking her back to the same doctor who'd treated her before, Rusty told jurors that he and Andrea went to the Devereux-Texas Treatment Network, where Mohammed Saeed became Andrea's psychiatrist. Rusty testified that he never knew that Andrea had visions and voices; he said he never knew she had considered killing the children. Neither did Dr. Saeed, even though the delusions could have been found in medical records from 1999. Andrea would not talk or eat." I worked as a caseworker for years and anytime we got a new client the first thing we did was request and get medical records. Without them, you really have no clue the history of the person which is quite important. Idiot!
  
• "After only slight improvement, Andrea was released from Devereux. A month later, she had another episode. Rusty took her back to Devereux. Again, she was released. Dr. Saeed reluctantly prescribed Haldol, the same drug that worked in a drug cocktail for her in 1999. But after a few weeks, he took her off the drug, citing his concerns about side effects. Though Andrea's condition seemed to be worsening two days before the drownings, when her husband drove her to Saeed's office, Rusty testified, the doctor refused to try Haldol longer or return her to the hospital. Rusty was frustrated, he told the jury, and he didn't know what else to do." Ok, his plan for her was...NOTHING! Sounds like a good one to me given her history, oh, wait, he didn't know her history. Duh!
  

For those of you who don't know anything about Haldol, it is an extremely potent psychotropic medication that helps in stopping hallucinations. One is not prescribed this medication lightly as it has potentially lethal side effects. I think it is clear that this woman is the epitome of "mentally ill" and I couldn't be happier that our "kill 'em all" society has finally done something that could potentially help someone AND shed light on the seriousness of postpartum issues.

If you want to hate on some moms feel free to do so to the following: Susan Smith
or Amy Grossberg or Melissa Drexler

I've been pretty sad today. A couple days ago was the 6 month mark. 98% of my day is fine and then something will happen and I'll be overcome with sadness.
I decided to go to the gravesite today. I hadn't been and I just decided that I would go there today. There's no headstone and no marker yet and I was frantically circling around the area where I knew it was and then it hit me. The spot was there, plain as day. The only grave that had yellowish new grass growing up. Because the spot is so fresh compared to the other ones. It was disturbing and I realized that it had only been 6 freakin' months! I couldn't stay but for a few minutes once I made that realization.
And then Grace asked me tonight before bed if I remembered the time CiCi told her she, "better put some ice in that soup," and did I remember that. I told her I didn't remember that and then it dawned on me that I can't really remember what her voice sounds like. If I think about it really really hard I kinda can, but not the way I want to.
Tomorrow is Sydney's birthday and I also think that is playing a role in this funky day.
I'm only writing these things for an outlet to get it out of my head and into words. It helps me immensely and so none of you people need to worry about me! Thanks for letting me get it out.

my new favorite website

check this out right now

O.K. really you all need to look at this. It's like watching a bad car wreck. I cannot believe some of the things these women say about their husbands. And more concerning, I cannot believe some of these husbands act like this! UNBELIEVABLE!

the swingers, our neighbors

Most of you who live in close proximity to me already know that our neighbors are tried and true swingers. This little tidbit of information was somehow left off the listing sheet when we were looking at this house. But, boy, when we moved in everyother neighbor warned us of the wild parties. Being the nosy person that I am, I took it upon myself (with my good friend Ashli) to peek out the window last summer during one of these infamous parties. WOW. I saw all sorts of weenie slinging and breastesses right out in the open. I remember when I told my mom, she was so appalled that she thought I should call the police. Um, sorry mom, but being naked in one's backyard is not a crime, even in Oklahoma. Yes, I was mildly disturbed that you could see all this action right outside my little baby's bedroom window, but really, she won't understand look out there for a long time...and who knows if they'll be around then anyway. These people drink and do enough coke to kill small villages. So last summer (pre-blogging) there was all sorts of nutty things going on, including the time that I was 9 months pregnant and taking my wee little dog outside to piddle (around 6am) and I noticed a group of 4 people sitting NAKED (save the mardi gras beads) around a table on there upstairs balcony. I myself was wearing only a t-shirt and was slightly embarrassed by this until I saw THAT and then was embarrassed for them. Truth be told, I really am not offended. I think it's kinda funny. And I am all about raising the kiddos with plenty of diversity. HA!

So jump to now. More than anything else, the neighbors, let's just call them the bococks ;) are loud. Like, HA HA HA HA HA HA HA loud. These people crack themselves up on a daily basis. And Grace is simply obsessed with them, "what are the 'bococks' doing now?", "what are the 'bococks' laughing at?", "mr.'bocock' is sooooooo loud" etc.etc. So the other day Grace and I had the following exchange:
G: when are we going to go over to our neighbors house?
me: what neighbor?
G: the 'bococks'!!
me: Umm, I don't think we'll be going over there.
G: why?
me: well, you know, we don't have very much in common (cough,cough) with them. They don't have any kids, they're a little bit older (read:they walk around the backyard butt naked). Things like that.
G: well, we could talk to them
me: about what?
G: Peace

WTF?!?!?

so it's like this:

for some reason God has decided that my life was far to easy for far too long. GOD: "oh, Ginny, you lived your life sheltered and (cough) spoiled. Now that your getting older and getting a dose of what life is really like I think it's time to start killing 'em off."

My grandad died last night. Yes, my father's father. If that is not the biggest slap in the face. Is it so much to ask to stagger deaths? This will be my 3rd funeral in 8 months. And one of those funerals was MY OWN MOTHER. I can't take this. It's crazy. Nobody else has family members dropping like flies. (*note: I really don't want anybody else to lose family members!) But really, this trend is becoming disturbing. Yes, he was very old. Yes, his wife died in November. Yes, he was probably ready to go to the other side. But my POOR DAD.
Me to GOD: Stop, for the love of you, just stop letting people die. I'm agreeing with you: I am spoiled and a little bit of a baby (stop laughing) but I get your point now and pleeeeease let me get back to living my naive and "nobody ever dies in my family" kind of life. I've stopped saying that and rest assured I will never utter those words again. Retreat! Retreat! Uncle! Anything! to! let! people! I! know!keep!living!..............................................

vomitous interruptous

my sleep, his sleep, her sleep...but not the baby's sleep. So I guess that is one teeny, tiny bright spot in the night from hell. Grace woke up at 1:30, 2:15, 5:00 and 6:00 barfing her guts up. Oh how lovely. She had pork chops and broccoli for dinner followed by a delicious chocolate milk shake. Yeah, you can imagine what a beautiful color and texture the vomit was. Sorry, I just feel the need to put all you readers there with me for just a second. It is now around 10am and the poor child cannot keep down one bite of a pedialyte popscicle without hacking bile. Sorry again. Now my mission in life is to keep the wee little one from getting infected. Ha, Ha, Ha! What a funny joke! One can dream.

Good day to all!

this hurts me and heals me all at the same time...

this was the exchange over breakfast:

Grace: does everyone have a mom?
me: everybody in the whole world.
Grace: but you don't have a mom.
me: that's true...but I used to have a mom. Remember?
(chomp, chomp, pause...)
Grace: do you miss your mom?
me: every single day.
(chomp, chomp)
Grace: cici still loves you though even though she's not really your mom anymore.
me: thanks Grace.
Grace: and I miss her too.

Oh the sensitivity

For some unknown reason Sydney is, well, way too sensitive. If she barely hits her head on something, she wails like someone pushed her down a flight of stairs. Consequently, if another child touches her she looks at me and then begins wailing. I can't quite figure it out. The only thing I really remember about Grace is that she was a pretty grumpy baby. Not easily upset by minor falls or hits to the head. Just the general I-hate-life-and-every-toy-you-hand-me-is-so-lame kind of attitude. That's kinda funny too because as a 5-year-old, she is hardly ever grumpy. I swear the child wakes up in the best mood practically every day. Maybe that means that Sydney will be a badass when she is older. Kids will be able to knock her out and she won't even shed a tear. Huh, just a hopeful thought. Anyway, I am slightly apprehensive about the upcoming months with the walking and such. There is no way to prevent every fall and she is bound to get her little diaper in a wad. Oh well, distraction is usually the best trick for the toddlers (OHMYGOD she is about to be a toddler).

the bain of my existence

My life is fairly boring right now so I really have nothing interesting to say... 4th of July would have been awesome if it hadn't rained so I only have 2 pictures from the pool (which Blogger refuses to upload! wooo!!) It was definately the strangest 4th I've ever celebrated...dinner with the hens, cocks (minus Wade) and chicks was fun, too bad no one took pictures of the 2 tables of people that we brought to that poor unsuspecting restaurant. The kids were GREAT! Seeing that they had already been swimming for a couple of hours and then were forced to get out of the pool, they were all on their best behavior and ate really well too! Fireworks: darn it, missed 'em again! Someone asked Grace today if she saw the fireworks last night and I heard her say, "ours were cancelled!" The little girl looked at me like, "huh", and I started laughing hysterically. I feel pretty confident that she won't be in therapy later in life because her mom wouldn't let her watch fireworks as a kid. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I'm doing something to her that is therapy-worthy, but, lord, not that!