Thursday, May 25, 2006

Better Day

Wow! I am overwhelmed with the tremendous amount of support I have. Thank you all so much for your sweet and uplifting comments! I have to admit I was shocked when my sweet brother commented on that post (how exactly did you find this blog?) Guess I can't write anything bad about you! Just kidding!

Anyway, as expected, today was great. Sydney took two awesome naps, Grace and I went swimming at MiMi's and Wade came home for much needed relief at 4:00. Oh, and we hired a new "nanny" (thanks Camille). That is what she prefers to be called and that's all good if it makes her feel better. I just always think it sounds like I am some uppity mom from the nanny diaries, but hopefully none of you think of me like that! I just like to have lots of assistance and Wade is all for it, so bring it on. She will help about 15-20 hours a week this summer focusing mainly on the baby. It gives me some free time and extra special time with Grace. I think it will be worth it for my sanity!

So that's how I'm doing and I will leave you with some cute new pics:
This little item around her neck is from a school activity, tell me she didn't love that! At home, not so much the boss as the bosser.

Just like her daddy (sorry, Wade, I couldn't resist).

Grace and her friend Kaili on their last day of school--aren't they cute? Doesn't the classroom look peaceful. Westminster's favorite adjective.

It's Aunt Jemima baby! Her absolute favorite place on earth is looking out the front door. (and of course that shit-head Curly made it in the pic).

Sydney's best Don King impression. It's pretty good, don'cha think?

Hope everyone has as awesome Memorial Weekend. Good luck to the hens making their way to family camp. Have fun!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006


Today is one of those days. Do you ever just realize in the middle of breakfast that you are just grumpy and can't shake it. It makes me mad because I have an awesome life, good kids, sweet husband but there is just this underlying feeling of grumpiness. There are a few factors that could be lending itself to this:
1). School is officially out at 11:15 on Thursday. This is the first summer that we don't have a consistent school schedule to fall back on. Last summer we had Mother's Day Out and I only had to worry about 3 weeks in August. Sure, we have camps lined up, 2 vacation tentatively in the works, but I have this feeling of uneasiness. I know things will be fine, but right this second I am feeling extreme anxiety. I will admit that I am spoiled about my time. I like the idea that on days that I have a babysitter (for the baby) that I can just go hang out at Starbucks by myself. I'm selfish like that.
2). Money: we are tight right now. Wade says, "we are cash poor but real estate rich." Okay, that doesn't help us too much when its time to pay the bills. Which I feel like I do everyday! If I were to disclose how much our monthly bills were you people (all 2 of you) would fall off your computer chairs and have to be resuscitated back to life. Yea, so that makes those tentative trips scheduled for this summer look farther and farther from reality.
3). Anxiety- I can feel it creeping back into my life and I really, really, really don't want to get back on medication. When I got off of my anti-depressant in February the withdrawal symptoms were AWFUL! You are probably wondering why in the world I would get off the medication the month after my mom died, but I was on it for postpartum (or to ward it off). And I've been good for the most part, oh, and I don't want to gain that weight back. I know it's vain, but I can't wrap my brain around getting fat and not really even eating that much. It's just stupid. If I'm gonna get fat I at least want to enjoy the food part.

So that's how I am feeling today and I'm sure tomorrow will be better, it usually is! Just gotta breathe!!

Monday, May 22, 2006


Here is a perfect illustration regarding the previous post:

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Friday, May 19, 2006

Deja Vu

When Grace was a baby, around 9 months old, she took a particular liking to my husband, her daddy. This age here:

That's good, you say, and I agree, but let's face it, it was slightly annoying too. If he walked into the room, she cried. If he walked out of the room, she cried. If he left the house, she...well, you get the idea here. It seems that her darling sister has followed in her footsteps at EXACTLY the same age. Our morning routine used to be so serene (okay not that peaceful), but pretty typical. We wake up at 7, Grace immediately gets dressed, right down to her socks, brushes her teeth and then joins Syd and I in the living room for a little Today show. We go in the kitchen, I make coffee, Grace's lunch and then breakfast for us all. Nice, huh. Wade comes down around 8, eats his breakfast and then gets ready for work. All the while, traipsing upstairs for a shower, down to the basement for his clothes, into the kitchen for coffee, etc. This didn't used to be a problem. Grace would usually follow him around the house spouting off stories from school. Now, as in the last week, anytime Sydney sees his face round the corner she immediately starts crying and trying to follow him. He then picks her up and she's ecstatic. Problem: he can't get ready. Grace has to be at school by 8:30. There is nothing I can do because baby#2 will have nothing to do with me. "EWWW mommy, I don't wanna play with her." Birthed her, fed her, changed her, rocked her, etc.etc.etc. and when he's around, nothing, no love. I remember when Grace went through this phase I jokingly told Wade that it seems she doesn't like to do things as a family, the three of us. And now, sadly, Sydney feels the same. She either wants one or the other, preferably the other. OY!

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Another Day with the Hens and Chicks

Just wanted to share some new cute photos I took today after descending on the Steel abode for much needed outdoor fun (thanks Summer!) Let's start with Sydney's favorite activity: eating! and then Sydney's second favorite activity: hitting on Jack Henry (nice hair dude! ) and then there is Sydney chillin' with Alys. Okay, I can see the pattern that is developing here. (f-you, it's my blog!) Just to prove that I can and do take pictures of other children besides the one and only Syd, here is a super shocking picture of lil miss Cate:

WOW!!! I think we all agree that she needs some french fries or something. And the final picture needs no description:

I don't really think Max wants to be there, wad'ya say? or Alys for that matter!

Happy Birthday, Leslie!!!!!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Medals in may!!!!!!!!!!

First, I want to start out by saying thank you to everyone who offered encouragement and support to me during this incredibly difficult holiday. I really appreciate it.
Now onto more fun the most embarrassed I've been in 2006. Grace had her "gymnastic performance" last night and I think I'll tell the rest in pictures
"O.K. gymnasts see if one of your parents will jump in the pit with you! YEA!!!! ." me: that was actually kind of fun. wow, that felt kinda weird.
me: now wait a minute, I can't get up from this position me: no really, I need some help, Wade, dad STOP FILMING and give me a hand. Meanwhile, everyone, all parents, children, siblings, teachers are staring at me. I feel like its the innocent bystander situation and no one wants to help the victim here. And I can't quit laughing, but no one is laughing except my immediate family. People are ready for me to get out, BUT I CAN"T! thank you Grace for at least trying to help your fat ass mama. But, try as she might, she still only weighs 38 pounds. HELP SOMEONE!

thank you teacher-lady, it's about time. Notice the pit has cleared out and everyone is just waiting on me. Let's see how long the crazy mom is gonna laugh and thrash around. screw the kid, I definitely deserve a medal for that show-stopping performance.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Mother's Day

Dear mom,
So much has changed since you've been gone. Sydney is now crawling like crazy and just about to pull up. I remember the last thing she was doing before you left was the "airplane" on her stomach. You thought that was hilarious. She is really cute but definitely a brute. Grace celebrated her 5th birthday, but other than that, is about the same. Still the bubbly, funny girl you knew. She still gets her feelings her a lot though. She is constantly reminding me that you are in heaven with God. Suprisingly, she has never shed a tear and is very matter-of-fact when she talks about you. But I know she thinks about you often just by the sheer number of times she mentions you. It's her way.
Life really isn't the same without you. When I go out to dinner with daddy dad and bubby we have nothing to talk about. We just sort of stare at one another under the glare of this dull, slightly annoying silence peppered with meaningless conversation. I hope that goes away soon. You were definitely the glue that held this family together. You know dad is the same. He still seems tired all the time, but he is checking his blood sugar every day. Bubby is probably the best he's ever been. He quit smoking!!OH MY GOD!! He is still with Wally (much to dads chagrin) and they are going on 5 months which, as you know, is a record for him recently. He is finally in a better mood which is nice. Wade is doing great. He's getting ready to open 2 new restaurants. I'm sure you would be worried about him overextending himself, but it's Wade. The Deep Fork Grill still misses all your PR-- we've seen a dip in sales--just kidding. And then there is me. I really am doing ok. I've lost 16 pounds but am still smoking (sorry!) I'm going to get hypnotized in September though. It's really hard for me to go over to your house still. We don't really do dinner like we used to. When we do go over there, daddy dad and Grace still go upstairs and leave me downstairs with the baby. That's when we used to chat and fix dinner, taking turns holding her. Now when they go upstairs I think of how lonely I am without you and wish I could just CALL YOU. It's very frustrating and heartbreaking and maddening.
I know I am the luckiest daughter in the world for the time we shared. It certainly doesn't make things like Mother's Day any easier. Hopefully the first one will be the hardest, although I'm not really convinced that is true.
Love you till I see you,

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

The hits just keep on coming

No, really, it's not that bad. The other day I noticed a small lump on the outskirt of my armpit and seeing that the cancer thing doesn't really bode well in my family, I called the doctor for a quick check. When I saw the doctor he took one look at it and said, "Oh, yea, what you have here is an infected oil gland." Yummy. "what I think I'll do is numb it and then shove this incredibly sharp object into it to open it up." Well, I am paraphrasing here, but you get the idea. "oh yea, there is some really gross stuff in here, would you like to see?" I am crapping you not, that was verbatim. "no thanks, I'm good." "No, really, look." He then proceeds to bring the delicious looking shit up to my eyeball. "Now, all you have to do is 2-3 times a day take a q-tip with some peroxide and then just shove it up there and really get it in there to clean it out." Oh, is that all I have to do? Now most of you know that I am a fairly squeamish person. I don't do well with anything that has to do with blood, bile, vomit, pus, feces(ok I've got the feces thing all taken care of) etc.etc. Thankfully my husband is the opposite and he will once again have to take the high road and do some digging in that hole in my armpit. Now, I still have to go back next week to make sure it's not anything horrible like STAPH infection. Glad he waited til the end of our conversation to mention that. I know that this could have turned out much worse so I'm really not complaining. The man could have thrown up on me, now that would have been a travesty.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Shouldn't this happen in 5th grade?

See it all started when Grace's friend dropped by on Saturday because her dad was playing softball in the park. Grace was so excited to spend some time with this little girl because she has never been to our house for a playdate. The next day she told me that she told her "best friend" that this little girl came over to play. Here was the exchange:
me: did you tell EP that so-and-so came over to play?
grace: yea and she was kinda mad
Me: mad? what did she say
grace: she told me that I couldn't have any other friends except her.
me: you don't believe that, do you?
grace: no, but she said that she wouldn't be my best friend anymore if I was friends with anyone else
me: (stunned look)that is pure rubbish!
grace: what's rubbish, mom

She is in Pre-k...they are 5 years old! I mean c'mon, that may be the stupidist thing I have ever heard. Thank God I don't think she took that to heart and will continue to play with other people. Geez!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, May 07, 2006


this is what my baby sounds like on a minutely basis. why? she gained back all her weight, eating 4 7oz bottles daily including 3 large meals per day. Her main issue is that she doesn't want to sleep. If I even walk with her into her room she begins wailing letting me know that she DOES NOT want to take a nap right now but DOES want to whine for the next several hours. WOW! it hurts my ears. Thankfully my darling husband decided to keep her all day while I took Grace to various activities and even he admitted that she was a bull to care for. He was determined to get her to sleep more than 38 minutes and began driving her around until sleep prevailed. It seemed to work as she was much happier last night! Yea hubby!! So, I will now leave you with a couple of new pics of the kiddos. Grace went to a party at snip-its yesterday and picked out a beautiful gnome hat! UPDATE: Sydney has been asleep for 1 hour and 15 minutes! This is a record people!! I did 2 loads of laundry, folded them and vacuumed downstairs! All Hail Maria!! See, I really can do housework if I don't have a baby hanging onto my leg...very happy mommy right now!

Friday, May 05, 2006

Day 1
This is officially my grand opening. I decided (after countless illnesses and ailments) to get a blog in order for things to STOP happening to me. I know, this sounds strange, but many unusual things have been happening to me prompting one of my friends to say, "see, if you had a blog you could talk about it, show a picture of it etc..." So I thought if I did this then maybe I would then have nothing to write about...hence, "shalom" in the home. Now you get me.
Right this second, I am dealing with an unbearable 9 month old. She had rotavirus last week (all week!) and now that she is feeling better, I am paying for it! Like it was my fault she felt so shitty. See, common sense would dictate that now that she is feeling better, she would be happy and excited to be back on her feet (so to speak), but, no, she is pissy. The child doesn't want to sleep, wants to eat all the time and pretty much wants to be a crumb. Lord help me...
So, hopefully, for my sake, I will never enter another post because my life will be so peaceful that there will be nothing to write about. So, yea, I'll see you tomorrow...