365 days

*I started this post around the actual anniversary, but it has taken me some time to peice this together.

I cannot believe it has been one year. It freaks me out because it flew by and trickled by all at the same time. I had really great intentions for writing another letter to my mom, but at this moment I just don't have it in me. When I think about all the things I want to say to my mom I get overwhelmed. I know everyone knows how hard and sad it is, but it's those little, everyday things that really get me. I think about how much she would have LOVED Sydney. When Grace was her age she was much more serious and wary of people, even my own parents. We had just moved back from Chicago and Grace wasn't that warm or affectionate with them. Sydney would have been quite the opposite just judging by how personable she is, especially with my dad. My mom would have dug that.

This is what Sydney looked like the last time my mom saw her:

And Grace:

Weird, huh. I feel like my life has changed so much, mostly for the better. I got my new job which, as everyone knows, I LURVE! But there is still a feeling that sweeps over me every great once in a while that makes me feel that life is oh so unfair. Telling my dad the funny stuff that Sydney does just isn't cutting it. My mom would have appreciated all that funny stuff, so, unfortunately, I have to bore my husband and friends with all her quirks. Sorry about that folks.

And I ask my dad questions that my mom would have known the answers to that my dad has no fucking clue. It bugs me to no end.
me:"Did mom fix us dinner EVERY single night?"
dad: "yea, I think she did"
me: "well, I know I was picky, did she fix me something different than the rest of the family?"
dad: "no, I think you ate what everyone ate, like pork chops."
me: "I didn't like meat when I was little, dad. I'm pretty sure I didn't like pork chops."
dad: "oh, well, then I don't know."

Argggggg....that shit really bothers me. My mom had a memory bank like a steel trap. She never forgot anything (unless it happened yesterday, but I'm talkin' long term memory here:))

But I am super thankful that Grace hasn't forgotten her. The other day I tested her memory by asking her what Cici looked like. She replied, "she wore glasses, she had those scratches on her face (wrinkles, so cute), and.....(thinking hard here)...she always wore lipstick!"

Damn straight.

Little mizz sassy

In general Grace is pretty good. Pretty even-tempered and reasonable. Not lately. She has really started to get sooo sassy. Not only is it trying my patience it's making me ANGRY! I know I have told some of you the story about how she got really mad at me for not getting her an icee, throwing a monumental fit and then rushing inside to then LOCK ME OUT OF THE HOUSE. Well, sort of. She locked the screen door while I was carrying a bagillion grocery bags. Whoa. I was beyond steamed. She got a 5 minute time out and a serious explanation about safety. Now, here is my problem. Is there a better discipline method for 5 year olds? She only gets really mad when we tell her "no" or "not right now". I have told her thousands of times that she does not always get what she wants, I try to remain calm etc etc. I think I may not be being consistent. Tonight I had a little talk with her that we have a new house rule: no more sassy talk and if she continues she will be sitting in time out. It's just so hard because after her little outbursts she feels really bad and shows extreme remorse. Until the next time she doesn't get her way. I know she's just plain spoiled, bottom line. This frustrates me because I don't always let her have her way, but she seems so damn bratty!!!!!! I guess we'll just have to see how the house rule goes...

this is what mamma gets for farming her kid out for the day

No, she didn't get beat, although she does look like it, straight with the pathetic face and all. This was the result of a bodacious sledding accident. Now I know, in the grand scheme of things, it's not that bad, but, OHMYGOD, I got a small taste of the nauseating feeling a parent goes through when there little baby gets hurt. Seriously, it made me kinda ill. I have to say I am really proud of her though. According to the friend who took her, this occurred on the second "run" and after calming her down (which I'm sure was no small feat) she didn't want to go home and went on to sled for 2 more hours. She was smart enough not to get back on the torpedo and waited for a suitable replacement (ie a jankety-ass plastic thing) that apparently went a lot slower. Wow... I guess I better think about all possible consequences next time...oops.

the hair

ok, so the hair. On our 2nd to last day Wade had the idea to take her to this frilly, silly place in the mall called libby lu's. Not surprisingly, this place is pretty popular in Texas. You get to pick between several different hairdo's and then get your nails done, makeup etc. Every little girls dream. So Grace picked the "princess" up-do. Watching these women do this made me tired. She had to have used an entire can of aerosol hairspray and at least 60 bobby pins to bring this thing to fruition. And here was the finished product:


Never mind that she looks like a pedophile pin-up, look at the intricacy and detail! Of course, she loved it. Not my style, but whatevs. We got to the Museum of Natural History and she says, "mommy, why is everyone looking at me?" ps- she always thinks people are looking at her, the narcissist that she is- and I say, "it's probably your beeeuuutiful hair." To which she begins taking it out. Oh I begged and pleaded for her to stop, but she had her mind set on it. We went to the bathroom where it took me 10 minutes to remove the hairspray laden pins and it looked like a freakin disaster. Sticking up every which way. Thankfully I talked her into putting it into a ponytail in order to tame the beast. Kids. Why do they have to make everything so damn difficult.

Onto a completely different topic. The roach display. Seriously. why? Name one important reason or benefit for this thing to be on our planet. And they are feeding them! Look in the cage! Those things need to spend some quality time at my house. We could kill them in 2.2 days flat. Just like our hermit crabs (don't worry ladies, I threw the crab carcasses away this time). Alls I gots to say is EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

I'm not even gonna apologize for the lengthy delay...just gonna say HAPPY NEW YEAR and here's to 2007 being a hell of a lot better than 2006.
Rubbing the buddha belly for good luck...


So what the hell have I been doing, you say? Life at the Starr's has been hectic while the days without school have seemed long overall Christmas/New Years break flew by. We went to Houston for a mini-vacation after the new year and while it was fun, unfortunately, I was sick the entire 4 day trip. I had a bitch of a cold where I couldn't breath, or taste, or want to taste. So that sucked. I ate less on that trip than I have in weeks. Which, while thinking about it, was probably a good thing. The final day ended with me waking up with a little stomach virus (read: diarrhea) and nausea. That was very uncool. We did do some really fun things though. The Children's Museum was awesome. They had a little "tot spot" for the under 2's and it was incredible. Sydney loved it! We also went to the Butterfly rainforest at the Natural History Museum and that was also unbelievable. Imagine a really big, warm, beautiful place with millions of butterflies flying around landing on all the little kids. SO fun. There was one pesky blue, very large, butterfly that wouldn't leave Sydney alone. He kept dive bombing her and she was literally trying to run away from it, to no avail. We also went to the Galleria, which is by far the largest mall I've ever laid eyes on. Wade and Grace went ice skating while Sydney and I roamed around. So, here are the pics...
A little shaky at first, but was skating like a pro within the hour!

The infamous "tot spot" where Sydney kicked ass and took names...


Grace and her butterfly, so very proud (I'll explain her hair on the next post!).