Tuesday, December 12, 2006

sad, sad, loathing, loathing

Once again I am apologizing for the tardiness of my newest post. Okay, the title isn't allll true. We're pretty crazy in the Starr family. Wade is working an ungodly amount this month and I feel so sorry for him because he comes home and literally lays on the couch without uttering a word. I think his mouth hurts from talking so damn much and his legs hurt from running around that damn gigantic restaurant. Anyway. The holiday season is shaping up as expected with me continuing to run across things that my mom gave me last Christmas and me seeing things that she would have loved. Arggggg, it sucks. I found several pictures of myself with Sydney when she was about 3 months old that my mom had taken. I can remember exactly what we were doing. I was laying on her bed laughing while she took some darling shots of us. I look at myself in those pictures and I can't help but think I look so different. I hadn't yet been subjected to the fact that I would never see her again or hear her voice or eat her pot roast. It's just a really strange feeling that's hard to describe.

I have hesitated to write about this, but those of you who know me well already know this and that is the fact that my dad has a girlfriend. It's just soooo strange. Part of me thinks it helps him get through this time but another part of me thinks he is a selfish asshole that can't even give my mom the decency of one year to wait to fill up his social calendar with another hussy women. And the last part is definitely true. He goes out with her in some capacity every night. I simply cannot wrap my brain around this. And, yes, I know, men can't do anything without a woman taking care of him, or so everyone has told me. I find it absolutely asinine that we women can excuse and justify men's behavior on a daily basis. Blah! Anywho...all I really care about is not hearing anything about wedding bells, I think that would kill me. Dead. Dunzo. Gone. My brother assures me that this will not happen so I guess I'll hold him to that! If he's wrong he can help Wade lift my lifeless body from the couch...

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sweet Ginny - Now I see why you were a little crankpot on the phone - you were writing this post! I agree. This holiday is tough to get through. So much reminds me of Mom. I feel particularly empty when I can't share the little everyday things with her. And Christmas...she sure did love it. It's just not the same. BUT we'll still have fun this year, so buck up you're stuck with us!

Also, the old school women want men to think that they can't be alone, but really they are the ones that need the man. It furthers their cause by perpetuating the stereotype.

Love,
Bubs

MossmanFamily said...

Oh, Ginny. This really sucks for you. The holidays are a really tough time and on top of everything, this Christmas will be so different for you. I know it must be difficult, but you are such a strong person. I know you'll continue to think about the great things your mom did and remember what she loved about Christmas. I'm thinking of you!
-Leslie

maja said...

You and Bubby took me to tears....I am kind of at a loss for words, but I know it sucks so so so badly and hurts to the bone. You are so strong and will get through this. And you are such a great mother, which is just one of the many ways that your mom lives on with you and through you. Your mom did make Christmas a magical time in their house - keep up the tradition!

ginny said...

thank you Maja, Leslie and Bubby! Y'all are toooo sweet to me!

Anonymous said...

That's it- I'm making you a pot roast next week- it's not mom's, but I think it might help. Love you, Camille

ginny said...

Camille- your also tooooo sweet but please don't cause I know how busy everyone is with the holidays! It's a crazy season!!!

ashli said...

I have been thinking about you alot and how difficult this 1st holiday season will be for you and bubby and daddy dad too. It just plain sucks! and daddy dad had to go off and start dating to make things a bit more difficult! Men! Ugh! My heart is aching for you girl! I will help Camille with that pot roast! Love You!

ginny said...

thank you Ash- just make sure it's not Chris's moms recipe;)