Wednesday, December 13, 2006

woe is me...

So, lately I have had the pleasure of assisting in the representation of juveniles that have the shittiest parents on earth. I simply do not understand the reasoning behind bringing into the world a child or children and deciding to do everything in your power to make sure that have no chance in hell of growing up to be a decent person. Wow. Now that was a run on sentence. There are two twin boys in particular that I have developed a bond with. They are locked up for an assault and battery(unrelated to said shitty dad) and I firmly believe that their actions were the result of self-defense. Oh I know all you naysayers out there (cough,bubby, cough, Wade, cough) think I am a naive bleeding heart that would believe anything told to me. Not true I say. I did my homework. I read the police reports, spoke with the kids, spoke with the dad! etc etc. Now I am not going to get into particulars here for various reasons but while speaking with the kids (age 14) they discussed with me the fact that there dad is a raging alcoholic (he really doesn't drink that much just EVERY DAY ALL DAY) and that yea, he used to beat them to a bloody pulp around the age of 5 on (no but really he loves us and is SUCH a good dad). This is the kind of deluded thinking I am dealing with here. After I lifted my chin off of the table I attempted to discuss ways in which they could begin to turn there life around. Mind you I do believe this can happen but I can't help but worry (and worry I will!) that these darling boys are eternally screwed. This is there only role model. Mom relinquished parental rights at their very unimportant age of 3 because she was/is addicted to meth (but it's just a "small drug problem"). I want to cry, I want to open my home and wallet to help. I know I cannot and will not do this but REALLY is anyone surprised that these boys have selected this path of self-destruction and poor choices.

So fast forward to this afternoon in the car with Grace. She was asking me if I ever dream about her and I replied, "Oh yes all the time." She says, "well what do I do in your dream" to which I reply, "Oh, your a good girl..." She says, "wouldn't that be funny if in your dream I was being a bad girl," and I say, "well, if you were being a bad girl I guess I would have to spank your bottom in my dream," to which she throws her head back and laughs uncontrollably for a good 2 minutes, "you are the funniest mom in the whole world!" Funny because this child has never been spanked in her entire life for anything. For me, spanking simply takes care of the parents immediate anger and I don't see how the child can learn the consequence from the mistake, instead, I believe, they then fear the spank and lose sight of the original or subsequent problem. Make sense? Anywho, this is not a debate or discussion about spanking, it is about an important and heartbreaking fact that these boys would never, will never, find what my darling daughter thought was so funny about that dream.

Sigh.....

3 comments:

ashli said...

All of these little lives affected on a daily basis in such a way our kids could never understand, much less us, is so heartbreaking! It seems that the kids that actually do pull through(the small # of them) , so to speak, are the most amazing adults with so much to teach. There is some hope I think!

And BTW you have inspired to refrain from spanking, not that I did it that often anyways!

ginny said...

your point is soooo well put, Ashli! It even kind of rhymes!

Anonymous said...

Yeah- I agree with the spanking thing , even though I resort to it sometimes. I can't help but worry about your emotional well- being after spending your days seeing these poor kids and their jackass parents; I think I would fall into a pit of despair- but the key is that you see hope in some of them. Like you and I have talked about before, it could be the smallest deed that turns things around. -Camille