Today is one of those days. Do you ever just realize in the middle of breakfast that you are just grumpy and can't shake it. It makes me mad because I have an awesome life, good kids, sweet husband but there is just this underlying feeling of grumpiness. There are a few factors that could be lending itself to this:
1). School is officially out at 11:15 on Thursday. This is the first summer that we don't have a consistent school schedule to fall back on. Last summer we had Mother's Day Out and I only had to worry about 3 weeks in August. Sure, we have camps lined up, 2 vacation tentatively in the works, but I have this feeling of uneasiness. I know things will be fine, but right this second I am feeling extreme anxiety. I will admit that I am spoiled about my time. I like the idea that on days that I have a babysitter (for the baby) that I can just go hang out at Starbucks by myself. I'm selfish like that.
2). Money: we are tight right now. Wade says, "we are cash poor but real estate rich." Okay, that doesn't help us too much when its time to pay the bills. Which I feel like I do everyday! If I were to disclose how much our monthly bills were you people (all 2 of you) would fall off your computer chairs and have to be resuscitated back to life. Yea, so that makes those tentative trips scheduled for this summer look farther and farther from reality.
3). Anxiety- I can feel it creeping back into my life and I really, really, really don't want to get back on medication. When I got off of my anti-depressant in February the withdrawal symptoms were AWFUL! You are probably wondering why in the world I would get off the medication the month after my mom died, but I was on it for postpartum (or to ward it off). And I've been good for the most part, oh, and I don't want to gain that weight back. I know it's vain, but I can't wrap my brain around getting fat and not really even eating that much. It's just stupid. If I'm gonna get fat I at least want to enjoy the food part.
So that's how I am feeling today and I'm sure tomorrow will be better, it usually is! Just gotta breathe!!