Because it reminds me too much of my mom.
No, really, I love my church. Sure, it may be a little on the conservative side, but the people there are truly amazing. Our pastor, Father Bright is one bitchin' dude. He has 5 boys age 8-22. I think he may have Jamie beat. Imagine 5 Max's running around the house and now teenagers! You gotta love that guy. Anyway, it's just sooo depressing to go to church. I used to look forward to it. Kids in sunday school and mom and I hanging out talking and writing notes during church. It was kind of ridiculous. We talked on the phone/saw each other all the time, but somehow we still had so much to talk about at church of all places. I remember people sort of shooting us looks and me always telling my mom "shhhhh" because she couldn't hear all that well and so her whispers were like my normal voice. Now all the prayers and hymns just remind me of mom. I've been going to that church since my birth ( I took many years off when I wasn't living here, obviously) so it's no wonder that it reminds me of her.
And another thing. The strangest thing keeps happening to me. I keep almost calling her. I don't actually pick the phone up, but in my head I say, "gotta call mom and tell her _______" It's really bothering me! Why do I keep doing that? I started volunteering at the Remarkable Shop again on Thursday and right when I got in my car I had the overwhelming feeling to call her because I always called her once I got in my car. Weird? Annoying? Yes to both.
I'm trying to stay positive and find the good in situations so I've come up with one: the people at church are able to hear the sermon better now! Ah, who cares about them anyway!